


Angel from above

by Kezcakes



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Dancer Magnus, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-07-03 08:16:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15815025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kezcakes/pseuds/Kezcakes
Summary: Young adult AU: Magnus, after being scorned by his father Asmodeous and blamed for his mother leaving as a result of his decision to go into dance, he is now under an immense amount of pressure to be the best street dancer there is. From loving dance Magnus ends up finding himself losing his passion for it after too much heavy critique from Asmodeous- he then starts to doubt his life plans. Needing a chance to get away from all the stress he finds a quiet retreat to spend time to collect his thoughts and plan for a future. What he doesn’t expect is for someone special to literally drop into his life.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Huge thanks to my beta @alecsgideon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thanks to @elena-rocchini for the amazing artwork!

 

Magnus jumps awake with a start as his bedroom door crashes open. “You were supposed to be up ten minutes ago!” His father, Asmodeus, disapproving voice echoes off the back wall.

“Sorry father,” Magnus swings out of bed, he checks the time and has to hold in a groan, _5.10am._ Asmodeus had not hung about, he was already back downstairs banging around. As Magnus pulls on his clothes on he can’t help but wonder whether it was all worth it. Everyday he had to get up at 5am, eat whatever breakfast his father had prepared him and with barely enough time for his food to settle, begin an intense workout. And that was on a good day, some days he would go without breakfast or have to wait until after he had pushed himself.

This morning he had muesli for breakfast, knowing better than to show his disappointment at having something so bland he thanks his father and swallows it down. Waking late had meant that he has just enough time to drink a glass of orange juice and brush his teeth before needing to prepare for his morning run.

Earbuds in, My Chemical Romance tunes blasting, Magnus pulls on his trainers and exits his house, his father shooting him a smile of approval as he begins his run. He pushes himself hard, he channels all of his negative emotions and surges forward. His feet pounding the ground at a rate of two to each beat of the music. At the end of the run he begins doing various sets to work different areas of his body, his targeted part today being on abdominals. He focuses mainly on push ups, planks and crunches. The playlist coming to an end marks that his exercices are complete. He exits the gym room his father set up and heads to his room in order to change his clothes and head to college to make it for 8am rehearsals; being in his senior year allowed for maximum benefits of the college facilities.

***

Magnus is relieved to find the rehearsal hall empty; he chucks his bag to the side and hooks his iPod up to the sound system. Rolling his head and shaking his arms out Magnus loosens up as he makes his way to the centre of the room. _Ain’t no other woman who could take your spot my;_ as the beat starts coming out of the speakers he lets it flow through him, carefully executing his own choreography that he had been working on for the past couple of weeks. As he reaches the limit of his choreography he lets his body go with the music, testing what works and what doesn’t. Just as the second chorus comes around he notices that he is no longer alone, the initial spike of embarrassment dissipates instantly as he recognises the person. He makes his moves more playful and shows off a but until he reaches the end of the chorus. Barely broken into a sweat he turns the music off.

“Show off much?”

Magnus smirks at his friend, Catarina, as she joins him at the side of the hall. “You’re just jealous that my footwork is better than yours.”

“Not true, I just get to use it to my advantage,” she pokes her tongue out at him. “And on that subject, can you help me with the footwork for redose?”

Magnus nods, “I’ll put the track on. We can run it from the top, then I can see where you’re losing it.”

“Thank you,” she shoots him an appreciative look as she makes her way just right of center stage, prepared for the music to start. Magnus hits the play button then takes his place, the beat counts them in and they surge into life. They make a great dancing pair, drawing energy and enthusiasm from one another. As the footwork starts to get more technical Magnus pays closer attention to Cat. Despite totally losing it at one point Magnus commends her ability to carry on and get herself back on track. The two minute routine complete Magnus stops the track and stands in front of Cat.

“I’m going to count you in and I want you to go from the upwards body roll.” Cat nods in understanding, “ 5, 6, 7, 8...” He watches closely as she desperately tries to get her feet to do the right moves but groans in frustration as she inevitably loses it completely.

“Why is this so hard!”

“We all struggle with different things, take a breath, we’ll slow it down and go from there.” Heeding his advice she mirrors Magnus’ speed, after a few goes and a lot of encouragement from Magnus she manages to consistently get her feet moving in the right way. “That’s great, now let’s just try speeding it up a little,” he demonstrates the new pace.

Slowly but surely Magnus manages to get Cat able to carry out the movements to the fast pace of the song, not quite effortlessly but she no longer dreaded that section of the track. During this a few others had arrived and taken up the opportunity to go through some of the more difficult movements together.

As the teacher arrives Magnus is plunged into a brutal near on solid 2 hours of giving it his all and working his body hard to prove that he is good, he can do it and he is worthy of pursuing this dream. Albeit a dream that was losing its spark slightly more each day as the punishing regimented daily routines exhausted his body and mind alike.

Lorenzo Rey was a renowned choreographer turned tutor. At his peak he was winning awards left right and centre for his creations. However, this was not achieved without a reputation forming; he was known for being brutal and unforgiving. Anyone who ever worked with him had tales of how it seemed that they were worked to the brink of death in order to achieve perfection in the eyes of Lorenzo. A change in his life had led Lorenzo to the decision of becoming a tutor, and while he had toned down a little he was still relentless at making his students better themselves every day. In his mind, perfection was a dream that would never be achieved, but that didn’t mean that his students shouldn’t strive to get there with all that they have. He wanted to be proven wrong, but at the same time knew there was no such thing as perfection.

 

## ***

In desperate need of an escape, some time to himself where he can relax and think things through, Magnus declines the offer of his friends to go with them to the bar. He was a 21 year old that was rapidly losing hold of his passion, he had never felt so out of control and uncertain about his future. For so long dancing had meant everything to him, he would happily pour every second of everyday into bettering himself. But not anymore. The fun had been zapped out of it, more and more lately he found himself dancing because he had to, not because he enjoyed it. With a deep breath Magnus waves his friends goodbye, puts his earbuds in and goes for a walk. His feet taking him off into the distance, he allows his mind to be consumed by the music and sure enough he feels his tense muscles begin to relax.

Not completely sure of how far out he had managed to get, Magnus opts to find somewhere to spend some time to himself before he inescapably had to return home and start the cycle over again. As he carries on through what appears to be a park Magnus spots an almost overgrown path, looking around and finding no one about other than a woman in the distance walking a dog he elects to explore the opening almost totally hidden by overgrown bushes on either side. The round white flowers a nice contrast to the purple and blue wildflowers scattered  in a ring around said bushes. As he squeezes past the branches Magnus follows a nice trial of Lobelia, more wildflowers and weeds expanding out before him as he enters what resembles a secret garden. In the centre of the space stands a tall red maple tree. He looks up in awe at the size and beauty of the tree that had been untouched by man and able to grow and thrive. Its thick branches packed full of bright red and orange leaves.

He cannot help but think that this place was perfect for what he required. Throwing his jacket down at the base of the tree he settles against it. His head resting back against the trunk he closes his eyes and listens to his music, fingers tapping rhythmically against his leg.

His attempt at clearing his mind doesn’t last long; soon enough the thoughts swarm his mind. He can feel his eyes well up with emotion as he hopelessly grasps in amongst the darkness for a glimmer of light. For a path that can lead to a bright future. Magnus remanises of the time when he first began to properly dance; the first time he truly allowed his body to become taken over by a beat. It was freeing, natural and right.

But now, when he takes to the dance floor he becomes filled with so many negative feelings that it drowns out the good. Over the years he blossomed into someone with immense potential to be able to make it in the highly competitive industry. And now in the year that would make or break everything, he began to wonder if it really was worth it? Was it worth all the blood, sweat and tears? His father's disappointment, and judgement at every step? His mother? _That’s enough!_

Magnus takes a deep steadying breath and focuses his mind to remember all of the good times. The rush of adrenaline when the stage curtain lifts. The feeling of belonging as the beat starts and he can show the world just who he is with real raw emotion.

Checking the time he curses under his breath, if he wasn’t home in the next hour it wasn’t worth thinking about the punishment that would ensue.


	2. Chapter

The next morning, by some miracle Magnus wakes before his alarm. He pulls on his running gear and heads out before his father is even awake, hoping it would be enough to ease his father into a better mood. He just need a slight relief from all the pressure he was currently under, his mind was growing tireder and weaker with each passing day. With any luck showing a little more enthusiasm in the morning will help to get his father of his back just a little, just enough to allow Magnus a breather before being thrown into harsh rehearsals for his big showcase a couple of months away. 

Magnus was unsure where the willpower had come from to be able to push himself for a harder workout than normal; but he sure as hell wasn’t going to take it for granted. His mind may be waning but his body was still in peak health and up for it. He works his legs hard and is in the middle of a set of barbell front squats when his father's presence is felt rather than seen. Magnus tries his best to act natural and not respond to the man looming in the doorway, but the tension he holds in his body makes his movement more strained and sloppy. 

It feels like an age before the hears Asmodeus’ booming voice echo off the walls. “I heard you leave early this morning, which was good, but maybe you should spend less time running and more time working on your technique. That’s shameful by anyone's standards, let alone someone that calls themselves a performer!”

“Sorry father,” he changes onto his last set of leg presses and makes damn sure that he works his body properly, not giving his father anything more to criticise. He just couldn’t take it right now, he wasn’t sure how much longer he could go before his mind fully snaps. As he reaches the end of the workout, Magnus hears a huff from his dad. 

“That was better, now hit the shower and get ready for class.. Breakfast will be on the table in twenty minutes.”

Magnus replies in recognition to his dad and wastes no time in hitting the shower. He relishes in the feeling of the water running over his skin. He clears his mind and relaxes to the warmth of it, feeling it soothe his aching muscles. Unfortunately the brief rest bite cannot last long and sure enough his mind kicks back in with thoughts and emotions that make his stomach turn queasy. As he exits the shower and prepares for classes he fools himself into believing that he doesn’t feel well because of working out so hard on an empty stomach. 

Magnus almost does a double take of the table, he was not expecting to find pancakes and fruit for breakfast. Normally the only time he would get such a pleasant breakfast was his birthday. While he may not have shown it well, or at all in fact, it seems that his father had been put in a better than normal mood by Magnus’ early start. 

It is not until he reaches campus that Magnus regrets swallowing down breakfast as quickly as he had. He diverts to the bathroom and has moments to spare before the contents of his stomach come back up. Once his stomach had calmed and stopped spasming, Magnus freshens up and manages to make it to the dance hall for rehearsals five minutes before his tutor. 

##  ***

After a quick warm up they are thrown into a strenuous rehearsal. First up was learning a new intricate footwork section of their number to the song Redose by the Prototypes. Magnus struggled initially commiting the sequence to memory and pulling it off; and just as he managed to get there with it his focus shifted to helping Catarina who was hopeless with this routine. For some reason she just couldn’t gel with it. Unfortunately this had meant that Magnus had no chance to really practise himself before the group was split in half and made to perform in front of their critiquing peers. 

Each person was paired up with the instruction of finding constructive criticism for their partner. Magnus was paired up with Elias; alongside half the class he was one of the ones whose full potential had yet to be realised. But Magnus had a feeling that with the right guidance Elias could be incredible. 

Magnus took his place on the stage and entered his performance headspace. As the beat came out of the speakers he truly transformed into a street dancer. He perfected the first half of the choreography with no issues, however the same cannot be said for the latter half. He knew in his heart as he finished that he would be facing some harsh words from his tutor. Lorenzo did not disappoint. “Bane, what the hell was that second half supposed to be? What is the point of starting out on fire if you’re going to fizzle out half way through? It was sloppy and unprofessional. You will never make it in this industry if you cannot keep your stamina to a high standard throughout the entire performance. The new section left a lot to be desired and I am sure I do not need to tell you where you need to focus your time.” The words left Magnus feeling deflated, he retreated inside himself a little and kept his distance from everyone as much as he could. Yes he knew that it wasn’t his best performance, but they what was expected was unrealistic! None of his peers were able to fully perfect the new section, and they had spent the rehearsal time focusing on themselves not helping one another! 

Thankfully when sharing notes with Elias they were both much more constructive and less harsh with one another. Magnus gave the advice of having more confidence and power in each movement and received praise of his stage presence and a note to ensure that his finger motions don’t distract from the rest of his body, in return. 

After a brief break they had to learn an entire new section for what was fast becoming Magnus’ favourite routine. And this truly showed, Lorenzo had even offered to take Magnus to one side and teach him the rest of the two minute piece as he seemed more than ready for it. While one-on-one tution was not something Magnus was in the mood for, he couldn’t pass down the opportunity of not only getting ahead of his peers, but being able to perform the track to completion. 

Lorenzo gave the rest of the class their instructions before pulling Magnus into a small adjoining space. One-on-one wasn’t all bad, sure it meant that Magnus was the sole focus of critique, but it did give him some very useful guidance on how to better himself. Anything to make his father happy was a win for Magnus. It also meant that the pace of learning was tailored specifically to Magnus, for the most part he picked it up after only a couple of repetitions. However, on the odd part that he needed more time it was gladly given. While at times it was felt that Magnus was a real target for Lorenzo to pick on, he wasn’t blinded by this and did give Magnus praise when it was earned. The problem was how extremely hard it was to gain approval. 

 

##  ***

Magnus was totally exhausted, he wanted nothing more but to go and collapse somewhere; he had a specific spot in mind. However he still had an anatomy and physiology class to make it through. He takes a quick shower before meeting up with his friend group for lunch. He sits in between Cat and Ragnor, his oldest friends that he has known practically his entire life. With Raphael and Tessa opposite him. He barely says anything during lunch, claiming that he is just tired.

Raphael doesn’t fully buy it though, and as they walk to A&P together with Ragnor he tries to get the truth. “Magnus, something is wrong, and don’t try and fob me off with you’re just ‘tired’ because it’s more than that.” 

Magnus sighs, “I just have some stuff going on, stuff that I don’t really want to talk about.”

Raphael nods, “okay, but if you every do feel like talking. Day or night I’m here for you.”

“Thank you, it means a lot,” Magnus squeezes Raphaels arm in appreciation as they enter the classroom. They take their seats at the back of the room and pull out their books, Magnus feels numb and finds his mind wandering for the majority of the lesson. 

Only half aware of what was going on, Ragnor prods him at the end of the lesson. “Earth to Magnus, or are you intending on staying in here?”

“Sorry, I was miles away.”

“Now, I don’t want to hear your excuses today, you bailed on us yesterday.”

Magnus groans internally, “one drink, I will not promise more than that!”

“Deal,” Ragnor grins at him. He hated seeing the change in his friend over the past couple of years, but felt hopeless to help. 

It wasn’t that Magnus didn’t enjoy spending time with his friends, he loved each of them. It was more that he barely had enough energy to simply function, socialising was not at the top of his list of things to do. 

He reluctantly followed his friends to their usual bar, hanging back a little trying to put on a good enough facade to placate his friends. Magnus pushes all the negative thoughts and feeling deep inside, imagining himself to be sealing them away with a big, heavy lock. It wouldn’t last long, he knew this, but it would be enough to get him through for the short term. 

Creatures of habit, they all sit in their regular seats at their usual booth as Raphael makes his way to the bar to buy the first round. Cat and Tessa share a menu causing Ragnor to roll his eyes at them. “Honestly, I don’t know why you bother looking anymore. For starters you must know that list by heart, and secondly we all know that you are just going to order your usual.”

Cat smirks, “maybe we feel like being different today.” As if to prove a point, both the girls chose something that they had never tried before from the menu. Magnus choses a simple potion of chips, still not feeling 100% and not wanting to push it. Once everyone had decided on their meal, Magnus volunteers to place the food order, managing to bring back his old, chipper self. 

As he returns to his seat from the bar it appears that Cat and Tessa had not quite had enough fun teasing Ragnor. “Magnus, back me up here.” He raises an eyebrow as an indication for context. “These two rascals are saying that I’m a grump just because I refuse to try whatever concoction it is that they insist on drinking.”

Magnus chuckles, “Oh Ragnor, you are not a grump because of that. Your cynicism, alongside Raphael’s, is why we refer to you both as ‘grumps’.”

Ragnor opens his mouth to protest but is cut off by Raphael, “they do have a point there,” he shrugs. Ragnor manages to stay in a huff until their food arrives before joining back in with conversation in good spirit. 

With the others in deep conversation, Raphael shoots Magnus a concerned look and leans across the table to stop the others from over hearing. “You didn’t eat lunch, you had a heavy morning in rehearsals you need to eat better.”

“I’m fine, don’t worry,” Magnus smiles reassuringly at his friend, “I’m just not feeling that hungry right now, I’ll eat again later.”

“You promise?” Raphael fixes Magnus with a stern gaze. 

“I promise,” Magnus really hoped that he would be able to keep the promise, but his stomach had already begun churning from the few chips he had already had. 

A short while later Magnus manages to make his excuses and bid goodnight to his friends. He was thankful that the chips had managed to stay down, but he could feel the negativity seeping back into his mind and knew that he had to leave now to save his friends becoming worried about the shift in his mood. 

##  ***

Instead of making his way home, Magnus once again finds himself following his feet and coming across that hidden spot again. It looks as undisturbed as ever, and so with earbuds in, he gets himself comfy at the base of the tree and closes his eyes. Thinking back to a simpler time, back when there was a place he was happy to call home. 

_ A young Magnus heads downstairs after completing his homework to be greeted with the sight of his parents playing Congklak. Intrigued he takes a seat between them and watches intently as they begin another game. His father chuckles softly under his breath, “would you like us to show you how to play?” _

_ “Yes please father,” Magnus’ eyes light up.  _

_ “Hmmm...it’s a bit complicated so you’ll need to pay very close attention.” _

_ “I will papa.”  _

_ “Very well then, why don’t you sit on your mother lap and when you get the idea we’ll give you a go.” Magnus wastes no time on getting settled in his mother's arms, relishing in the warm safety of her embrace.  _

_ His mom carefully explains the rules, she commentates the processes as they take it in turns to move their shells. When Magnus feels confident enough in what to do he requests a turn and receives praise and encouragement. They play for a couple of hours, contented with each others company. Taking it in turns to make one another laugh. His mom’s bright smile, a sight that will forever be etched in Magnus’ memory, along with the sound of her laughter.  _

A sudden bang to the head brings Magnus back from his reverie, frowning he looks down at the book that had bounced off of his head and landed with a thunk beside him. Rustling in the tree above causes Magnus to change his eye focus,he scans across the branches in search for something to explain the sudden appearance of a book. He can just about make out someone muffling curses, before climbing down the tree. Magnus first though is how someone as tall as the man before him could be so well hidden, and secondly how he learnt to dismount with such grace that made the dancer in Magnus that little bit envious. 

“I am so sorry, I honestly didn’t mean to hit you. The book it, it just slipped out of my hand. I’m sorry, are you okay?” 

Magnus waves his hand to quieten the other man, “it’s okay, I’m okay. No lasting damage done.” He picks the book up and reads the title aloud,  _ Dune _ . “Interesting choice.” The other man blushes. Magnus offers his hand, “I’m Magnus.”

“Alec,” he offers Magnus a shy smile as he retrieves his book. 

“I apologise, I only came across this spot yesterday and had no idea someone else was here.”

“I like it here, it’s quiet and secluded, good place to get away from it all, you know?”

Magnus genuinely smiles for the first time in a while, “I understand completely.”

“So what brings you here?” Alec sits himself down beside Magnus. 

Magnus sighs, “I just feel like I’m a ship stuck out at sea, at the mercy of the wind and waves.” Alec keeps quiet, and encourages Magnus to continue. “Things at home are pretty tough at the moment, so I don’t want to go home any sooner than I have to. The one place I used to use as a refuge, now causes even more stress. My friends are all amazing, but I fear I would be more of a burden to them if they knew the truth about what’s going on.”

“You can burden me. Not that I would see it as a burden, because I wouldn’t. I just meant that you can talk to me, a perfect stranger, without having to worry about hurting those you care about.”

“That’s very kind of you.”

“It’s an open offer, I come here everyday accept for Sundays and Tuesdays, if you ever want to talk.”

“I might just take you up on that someday.” Magnus loses himself into the hazel depths of Alec’s eyes. His looks over Alec and can’t help but to think of him as attractive. Alec’s phone buzzing brings him back to reality, Magnus clears his throat and shakes the thoughts out of his head.  _ This is why your life is the mess that it is, pack it in!.  _

“I’m sorry but I’ve got to go. Maybe I’ll see you here again sometime?” Alec doesn’t wait for a response before departing. 

“Yeah, I think I would like that.” Magnus mumbles to the retreating figure. 


	3. Chapter 3

Out of habit the friends stop by each others classrooms on route to heading off; Magnus is the last to be picked up. He greets his friends as warmly as he can muster. The conversation soon turns towards plans for the evening. 

“I’m sorry, but I have tons of homework to do, I don’t think I’ll be able to join you.”

Murmurs of disgruntlement pass through his ring of friends, but they all can relate to what it’s like having a shed load of homework that need to be done; putting it off does no favours. “Okay, but if you decide you’ve had enough and want a break let us know and we’ll tell you where we’ve ended up,” Tessa compromises.

“Okay, I will.” After a brief goodbye Magnus ensures to head off in the direction of home as to not raise any suspicion, but it was not home that was his intended destination. Once confident that he was safely out of sight he changes track and heads in the direction he went the other day. His mind growing darker and foggier the longer it is left to wander on its own.

##  ***

Magnus tentatively walks up to the tree, he places a hand on the trunk and looks up. “Alec?” his voice comes out a bit rough and broken, he clears his throat and tries again, “Alec, are you there?” 

“Magnus hey!” As the leaves flutter Magnus takes a step back and watches Alec make his way down to him. 

“Do you just sit up there all day?” Magnus jokes. 

“I wish. It’s g-good to see you again,” Alec smiles. They both get comfy under the tree facing one another. “You look more upset than last time, is everything okay?” concern laces Alec’s voice. Magnus shakes his head. “Talk to me.”

“I wouldn’t know where to start…” Magnus’ eyes are fixated on the grass before them. 

“Anywhere you feel comfortable to.” Alec waits patiently for Magnus to feel ready to talk, fiddling with a leaf that had fallen from the tree.

“I guess the context is that 2 years ago my mother left, and my life just…” Magnus takes in a shaky breath. Alec places a comforting hand on his arm but keeps quiet. “My father, he blames me, and he’s right to. It was my fault my mother left. He just doesn’t know all the details.” Tears well up in his eyes, he feels Alec squeeze in encouragement. “My father, he has a reputation, he’s not a nice guy. He’s very strict and controlling. He disapproves of everything I’ve become. And because of that I now have to push myself to prove that the choices I made were the right ones for me.”

“What choices?”

“The main one, the one that causes all the problems, is that instead of pursuing a ‘proper’ career I chose dance.”

“What kind of dance is your specialty?” Alec’s voice lacks judgment, instead holds genuine interest. 

“Street, I used to look for every and any opportunity to dance. It made me feel….empowered.”

“What changed?”

“My father's pressure, no matter how well I do, no matter how good I get. It will never equate to being good enough in his books. Will never be worth losing mom.”

“I know I don’t know anything about it, but surely there was more to your mom leaving than that.”

“You’re right, only my father was never told. I said something to her, the night before she left. I guess she just couldn’t stand to live with me once she knew.” A tear escapes down his cheek as Magnus draws his knees up to hug his legs, “it’s like I’m an abomination.”

“Do you mind telling me what you told her? Or what makes you so sure it’s the reason she left?” Alec keeps his voice soft and non pressuring. 

Magnus makes eye contact, weighing up his options. He takes a deep breath, “well I suppose this is only the second time I’ve met you, if you walk out of my life it could be because of multiple reasons…”

“I’m not going to walk away.” Alec says sternly.

“But you don’t know what I’m going to say yet, how can you be so sure?”

“Because, from what I’ve seen of you I can’t imagine what you have to say would put me off wanting to get to know you more.”

Magnus scoffs, “okay...I told her....” his eyes dart around nervously, with a shaky breath he manages to continue, “I told her that I’m bisexual,” his voice is barely above a whisper as he closes his eyes and turns his head away. Prepared for ridicule. 

Magnus is shocked when instead of abuse or disgust he feels a pair of strong arms wrap around him. “I’m so sorry,” Alec whispers near his ear, “that you have been made to feel ashamed of who you are.” Alec pulls away and takes hold of Magnus’ hand. He waits for the other man to look at him before continuing. “I’m sorry for whoever has made you feel like you have to hide yourself so much, you never have to hide who you are from me. And I know it sounds crazy because we just met and we don’t know each other. But I am here now, and I am telling you, that I accept you, for you.”

Magnus breaks into a sob and finds himself back in Alec’s arms. After a moment he manages to pull himself together, wiping his eyes furious with himself for being so weak he manages to speak again. “Thank you, so much, for being so kind, for listening, for everything. I’m so-”

“Don’t. Don’t even finish the word. You have nothing to be sorry for.” Magnus goes to protest but the look on Alec’s face makes him rethink. “And for what it’s worth, I honestly think that there is more to your moms story than you know.”

Magnus finds it hard to believe, but then until today there was only one other person he had talked to that hadn’t made him feel like something was wrong with him for identifying the way he does. With each passing moment he feels himself more and more drawn to Alec. Something about Alec has managed to break through barrier and unlock the man Magnus truly is behind all the heartache and hurt. 

Magnus tells Alec more of his story, he explain more about the kind of person his father is, the tight schedule he has to live by or suffer the wrath of Asmodeous Bane. Unsurprisingly Alec had heard of his father, apparently his parents often voiced their disdain at having to do business with him. Magnus doesn’t know where the sudden ability to be open and honest with someone has come from; and instead of letting it scare him, as it rightly should, he makes the most of it. His shoulders feeling lighter and head less crowded. 

Unfortunately beforelong Alec gets stolen away by a phone call, full of apologies that something had come up he reluctantly leaves Magnus to it. Both men with a secure knowledge that they would see one another again. 

##  ***

Magnus looks around to check that there was still no one about before ducking through the bushes and onto the concealed pathway. His face lights up as he sees Alec already settled against the tree having laid out a blanket big enough to fit them both comfortable on. Alec has a slight frown on his face as he reads his book, focusing on the words and bringing them to life in his mind. The corner of Alec’s mouth twitching illustrates that Magnus had been noticed. Magnus takes his usual sitting position to the right of him and allows Alec to finish the section of the book he was on. 

Putting his book down Alec turns more towards Magnus, “Hey.”

“Hey yourself, decided for a change of scenery today?” Magnus gestures up the tree. 

“I was hoping that I would be lucky enough to have some company today.” A slight blush flits across Alec’s cheek. 

Magnus smiles, “your day been okay?”

Alec shrugs, “can’t complain too much. Yourself?”

“Same old.” 

Noticing Magnus’ slight dip in mood Alec decides to let Magnus into his world a little. “Want to hear something that happened yesterday?”

“Sure,” Magnus perks up a little as he anticipates where this was going.

“So yesterday Isabelle cooked for us all, and there’s something you should know about her cooking...it’s awful. Wouldn’t give it to a dog!” Both men chuckle at this. “But anyway, she serves up this...well what I can only guess is that it was meant to be some kind of pie maybe? So Max, my younger brother, decides that instead of eating it, he would much rather paint the wall...and the table with it.” Alec breaks down into laughter and takes a moment to compose himself, “and when I say paint, he genuinely used his knife, it was like he was creating a masterpiece.” As Alec continues with his anecdote they both end up in a fit of hysteria. 

“Sounds like you have a great family,” Magnus comments when they have had chance to calm down. 

“My siblings are my rock, my parents aren’t too bad, they’re just your typical CEO type. It’s why I need to get away so much. The pressure of not only being the heir to the family company, but having to look after my brothers and sister because mom and dad are always working, or on trips away for business meetings.” 

“Can imagine it’s nice to be able to come out here to the quiet and unwind.” Alec nods in agreement. “Also, brothers? Max and…?”

“Jace, he’s adopted. His parents were close friends to mine so when they both died in a terrible car accident my parents didn’t hesitate at taking him in to save him ending up in the system. He’s more than a brother to me, he’s also my best friend.” Magnus smiles, pleased to see how Alec lights up when he talks about his family. “Not much else to really say about my life. When I’m not in lessons, with family or here I take archery classes.”

“What made you pick archery?”

“I like how controlled and disciplined it is, I love the feeling of a bow and being able to release stress as the arrow flies through the air to its target.”

“As great as that sounds, I think I will stick to dance,” Magnus winks.

They continue in easy conversation, swapping stories and snippets from their lives. As the sun begins to set they reluctantly agree that it was time to get home. They part ways with mirrored smiles on their faces; both already accustomed to their new routine of meeting, talking and heading home. 


	4. Chapter 4

“Right listen up, the schedule for the showcase has been drafted, we are going to do a full run through at the end of today,” Lorenzo pins up a sheet, “this is the order that I would like to see if we can do it in. Please make sure you are all familiar with the order and are ready to perform at 2pm. I understand that not everyone has finalised song choices for solo’s, I will also need those in by the end of the day so that I can get the programmes into print. For that reason I would like each of you working on your solo for the first two hours, I don’t care if you haven’t got anything solid in place but you must at least have a chosen track. I will be around should you require any help or guidance.” With a wave of his hand he dismisses the class. 

The class huddle around the bit of paper, Magnus instantly feels sorry for Cat as she is down as the first solo to perform. But as he reaches the end of the sheet that changes, he swallows a lump in his throat as he reads that his solo is the closing. “I don’t know what’s worse, that you’re ending the show, or that your solo comes straight after Redose,” Catarina leads Magnus over to their usual part of the hall. 

Magnus shrugs, “it is what it is. I know my solo will be amazing, what else is there to worry about?” 

Cat grins, “I don’t know what’s happened lately, but having the old cheerful Magnus back is something we are all appreciating.”

Magnus snorts, “that’s not what I heard from Ragnor,” he jokes. “How are you doing with your solo piece?”

Cat chews on her lip, “I’m still a bit apprehensive about using such a….risky track.”

“Don’t be, you’re going to kill it.” 

“Are you sure I shouldn’t change to something more….audience friendly?”

“Positive, you get on that stage and you show the world who you are, don’t let the pressure of the audience stop that. You chose the track for a reason, and that is all that matters. Besides, Lorenzo approved of it after all.”

“Hmm, you’re right but I can’t escape the feeling that he might be setting me up to fail.”

“There’s only one way to find out, show me what you’ve got.”

Cat puts on her phone at a volume low enough not to annoy the others but loud enough she could still clearly hear the beat. The beat of the track,  _ Hypnotise - Biggie Smalls _ , has Magnus’ heel tapping from the start. By the end of what Cat had choreographed Magus’ jaw had virtually hit the jaw. “Cat that was incredible! I have never seen you dance like that, it looked so natural and powerful.”

“Thanks Magnus. Right then, your turn, show us what you’ve got!” 

“Now remember, I only chose this track because of a dare from Tessa!” Magnus performs to Justin Timberlake’s  _ My Love _ , he already has 1 minute 40 out of 2 minutes choreographed. 

“Flawless!” Cat compliments, “I can’t wait to see how you choose to end, especially now that you know you’re closing the entire thing.”

“I’m working on something special,” Magnus winks.

Rehearsals fly by in a flash, and before long they all pile down to the theatre in order to go through a rehearsal. Thankfully none of the solo’s were performed, it was more just to allow everyone to get in the rhythm of the order and work out how quickly each costume change would need to be. Still in a good mood Magnus even joins his friends for a couple of hours before heading home, enjoying feeling a bit lighter. Today was the first time he had the old feelings rush back through him when he was on stage. And he knew exactly who he had to thank for that. 

***

Over the past month Magnus and Alec had really got to know one another and as a result had become quite close, they still hadn’t got round to exchanging numbers so everything was still contained to their ‘secret’ meetings. And that was just what they both liked about it, no one else knew where they were. They couldn’t be disturbed. There was no pressure, if they were both there, great, if not there would be another time. 

Magnus lay with his head on Alec’s lap, they shared a set of headphones and took it in turns to pick a track to play. Deciding it was now or never Magnus decides to make a bold move, “Alec, can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” Alec’s fingers lightly toy with Magnus’ hair. 

“I have a spare ticket to my showcase and was wondering if maybe you would want to come?” 

A moment of silence passes by and Magnus internally scolds himself for potentially ruining what he had going with Alec. He was stupid for asking for anything different from what they had. 

“When is it?” Alec’s tone gives nothing away and does nothing to calm Magnus’ mind.

“Next friday,” Magnus chews his lip in apprehension. 

Alec thinks for a moment, “I’m free friday, and I would love to see you perform. I mean we’ve talked about it enough, would be nice to actually see you in action.”

Magnus breaks out into a grin and sits up to look at Alec, “you serious?” Alec just rolls his eyes and grins back. Magnus digs through his pocket for the ticket and hands it over to Alec who tucks it into his book for safety. 

***

 

**FALL SHOWCASE**

**Running order** :

-Metanoia (Faux tales)

_ Performed by full cast _

-Hypnotise (Biggie smalls)

_ Performed by Catarina Loss _

-Ember (Katherine McNamara)

_ Performed by full cast _

-On and on (Dr.Fresh)

_ Performed by Elias Bala _

-Where’s my love (SYML)

_ Performed by Magnus Bane and Catarina Loss _

**Intermission**

-Redose (The Prototypes)

_ Performed by full cast _

-Monsters (Ruelle)

_ Performed by Maia Roberts _

-Fire riddim(edIT)

_ Performed by full cast _

-Save Me (Majik)

_ Performed by Elias Bala and Maia Roberts _

-War of Hearts (Ruelle)

_ Performed by Elias Bala, Magnus Bane, Catarina Loss and Maia Roberts _

-My love (Justin Timberlake)

_ Performed by Magnus Bane _

  
  


The rush of nervous energy and adrenaline was electric as everyone did last minute preparations and adjustments. Magnus looked over the running order one last time, he much prefer the second half so knew that he just needed to make it through to the intermission  then he could relax more and enjoy himself. They had been informed that the last of the seats were almost filled, they would be performing to a full house. Those performing solo’s hoping to impress had been given the tip by Lorenzo where the head hunters were sitting. But Magnus paid no attention to this information, all he wanted to know was if Alec was out there or not. 

He felt a slight tingle pass through his veins as he made his way up to the wings, he tried to peek through the curtain, but with all the faces it was too difficult to tell if Alec really was out there or not. He found himself more concerned about Alec than the idea of having to make all the hard work from the past almost year worth it.

The signal is given for the performers to take their place on stage, as he strides across the stage Magnus feels the adrenaline build inside him. The curtain rolls back, and in the split second before the track starts Magnus spots a face in the crowd, his father. Magnus swallows down his nerves and uses it to add more fire to his movements. 

As Magnus exits the stage onto the wings he doesn’t think about how he did, what went wrong, what he perfected. Instead his eyes scan the crowd, searching for that one face that will make him feel more confident and comfortable. He can’t explain why, but if he just knew for sure if Alec was there he would be able to truly let himself go and enjoy the moment. 

Unfortunately the crowd is too dark, there are plenty of faces that could be his and Magnus tries to push down the crushing feeling that Alec probably decided against it. He almost misses his cue to return to stage because he is so preoccupied, knowing he was being silly. Magnus ignores any thoughts of Alec until the intermission, for the sake of his career and his father he couldn’t afford to disappoint. 

The chemistry between Magnus and Cat shines through in their duet. The ending position involves Cat being high up in the air, back arched over Magnus’ head with her arms stretched out to the side. They make it look effortless as the pair stay perfectly still until the lights have faded and curtains have drawn. 

Magnus gently lowers Cat down to the floor to the sound of the crowd cheering. They beam at each other as they make their way into the wings. “Magnus that was incredible, we killed it!”

“I’m pretty sure you already did that with your solo.”

Their conversation is halted by an outburst from Maia, “okay who brought the hottie in aisle two?”

“Maia, if Lorenzo sees you peeking through the curtain he’ll flip!”

“Elias relax, he has his back to us right now, but seriously though, who’s he with?”

Magnus and Cat tentatively pull back a bit more of the curtain to see who Maia was talking about, “End of the second row in the green top,” she prompts. 

Magnus feels his pulse quicken as he instantly recognises the face, he feels himself begin to heat up as he is hit with a barrage of emotions,  _ he came.  _ Noticing he was being stared at as Maia waited for a reply Magnus manages to force some words out, “he’s with me…”

Cat’s eyebrows shoot up and Magnus walks back to the dressing room, busing himself with preparing for the second half as to fend off Cat’s questions. “Later, okay? Let’s just get tonight out of the way then I will answer any and all of your interrogations.” before Cat has a chance to get anything in he adds, “but you must not, under any circumstances say anything to the others, got it?”

“My lips are sealed,” she shoots him a mischievous grin before joining Magnus in getting ready. 

As they return to the stage Magnus can see the anxiety build in his friend, he takes hold of her trembling hand and squeezes, whispering in a soothing voice, “relax you’ve got this.” He shoots her a wink before taking his place on the stage and leaving Cat behind in the wings. Magnus took his position with three of the first year students. They were all huddled in front of him with his arms in a strong ‘C’ around them as the curtain rose and redose played. As much as Cat hated this piece, Magnus had began to love it, there was something about the beat that made the movements ripple through his body almost effortlessly. The only downside of it was how much energy it drained, he was very thankful that Hodge had changed the running order so that he no longer had his solo directly after, it made more sense allowing Maia to follow with hers as she was in less of  redose than himself.

Magnus was in his element by the time his performance with the other second years came round. As the lighting on stage illuminates the first few rows, Magnus finds his gaze drawn to Alec,  _ thoughts of you consume _ . A passion Magnus didn’t know existed erupts within him as he gives it his all, his eyes rarely straying from Alec’s,  _ I can’t help but want you, I know that I’d die without you.  _

Magnus rides on the high as he launches into his solo, it comes across stronger and better than he ever could’ve imagined, and as he finishes he is met with a roaring crowd, the majority on their feet as the rest of the cast join him on stage to take a bow. 

Magnus’ desire to try and catch Alec on his way out is prevented by a talk from Lorenzo. By the time he finally makes it out everyone had left, including- to Magnus’ surprise, his father. 

##  ***

Having got home to heavy critique and endless questions getting him to justify his choices, and that was apparently after doing an acceptable job, Magnus didn’t hang around the next morning. Especially as a ‘reward’ his father had said he could take the morning off of training. 

There was only one place Magnus wanted to go, problem was he had no idea what time Alec would usually get to their spot. So he waited, growing evermore hopeless and down as it became apparent that Alec wasn’t coming. 

After a couple of hours reprieve to see his friends Magnus returns; and feels a part of him break as still no sign of Alec. He stays until the light has fades before giving up in defeat that he would not be seeing Alec today. His head started to run away from him, coming up with all sorts of reasons as to why Alec wasn’t here, the majority of which placing the blame squarely at Magnus’ feet. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Incase anyone would like to listen to the tracklist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCNm2L0bYmvD0xk9llxrh7ToMIb0kbAYu


	5. Chapter 5

As two weeks pass and Magnus has almost totally given up the idea of Alec ever returning, he still cannot help himself spending hours each evening waiting in vain for something he knows will never happen. His mood plummets and he ends up back at the stage of being unable to eat and sleep, he’s just a shell of a man going through the motions. 

He sees his friends sharing concerned looks and does his best to put them at ease. But along with everything else in his life, his best just wasn’t good enough. He knows that he should make an effort to be a part of their conversations, but he doesn’t have the strength to try. For this reason he spends the majority of his lunch breaks in the dance hall, pushing his body to take away the pain in his mind. 

He is midway through a drill when the music abruptly stops. “Oh nuh-uh. I’m sorry Magnus but this cannot go on any longer!” Cat turns the power off to the sound system and hands Magnus his ipod. She stands with a hand on her hips, his other friends by her side all donning looks of concern. 

“You have to stop pushing yourself so hard,” Raphael’s voice is gentler than Magnus ever knew it could be. 

“If you keep this up you’ll kill yourself! For god sake Magnus, we’re your friends let us in,” Ragnor gesticulates as he talks. Tessa and Cat each link an arm through Magnus’ and guide him out of the hall. 

“I know you may not feel up to eating much, but your body needs something so I brought you this from home,” Tessa pulls out a tupperware container, filled with homemade soup and hands it to Magnus.

Magnus is a little taken aback by how much they care, as they make it to a quiet corner of campus Magnus breaks. He feels wetness drawing down his cheeks and realises he is crying. In an instant his friends rally round with words and touches of support and comfort. 

One by one reluctantly have to leave for class until there is just Cat left. “You can shove off and tell me to mind my own business, but I’m going to ask anyway...has this got anything to do with that guy that came to the showcase?”

“Alec,” Magnus voice cracks as he speaks the name, he shakes his head as he struggles to form the right words. 

“Was he your boyfriend? Did you split up?”

Magnus looks at her shocked before shaking his head, “nothing like that.”

“Magnus relax, you’re my best friend, it’s okay if he was.”

Magnus shakes his head, that conversation could wait till another day, the only one of his friends that knew of his orientation was Raphael. “He was just a friend, of sorts, I mean we never even exchanged numbers. It’s silly really that I miss him, I’ve only known him a couple of months.” Magnus found that once he managed to start talking, the rest just fell out. “But he was someone impartial, someone that had no prejudgements about me. I could be open and honest and myself. I talk to him about things I’ve never been able to say to anyone. And he was always so...understanding.”  _ He appeared when I needed someone the most, like an angel.  _

“How did you meet?”

“That’s a funny story…he literally dropped a book on my head,” this causes them both to chuckle. 

“What happened?”

“He just stopped showing up, we have this spot, the place we met, he was always there when he wasn’t tied up with family. Always at least twice a week. But I haven’t seen him since the showcase…” Magnus lets out a pained sigh. 

“Maybe something has come up with his family?”

After a moment of silence Magnus speaks his mind, “am I stupid for missing him so much? Is it wrong how much better spending time with him made me feel?”

“Not at all, you may not have known each other long but he’s clearly special to you. And don’t forget, I saw him in the audience I know how handsome he is,” she winks. Magnus takes in a shaky breath, anxiety eating away at him despite how open Cat was being about the idea of Magnus not being straight. Cat takes his hand in hers, “Magnus, I have known you a very long time, I know that you have a huge heart, I know how loving, caring and kind you are. It does not bother me in the slightest to think that you could be interested in men  _ that  _ way. And if it helps, I don’t consider myself as ‘straight’.”

Magnus’ shock is fleeting, “you don’t?” she shakes her head in reply to his question and it feels as though a weight is lifted from his chest. After a brief moment he adds,“You’re right, I am bisexual.” The last word is bare audible, since his mom leaving he has been conditioned into believing the word to be worse than a curse. Cat just hugs him and presses a kiss to his cheek. 

“So, is part of the reason why you miss Alec so much because maybe you have  _ those  _ kind of feelings for him?”

“Maybe...I mean the way I feel around him...I can’t describe it. It’s like I can finally be at peace with myself.”

“I’m happy you’ve found someone that makes you feel like that,” she smiles, “and I’m sure you’ll see him again. He’s probably missing you as much as you’re missing him.”

Although Magnus cannot help but to doubt the latter, he appreciates Cat’s efforts. “Thank you.” Cat stays with him until he has managed to eat, satisfied she can do no more to help she hugs him goodbye. 

##  *** 

 

Magnus had to admit that he felt a small shred better since his friends intervention, and in particular the talk he had with Cat. He puts his headphones in and pulls up his hood; mentally preparing himself for what he could end up facing at home. His father had been in an awful mood when he left this morning, chances are he still would be. But Magnus could hope for a change. 

As the track changes to Hasley’s  _ Gasoline _ , Magnus smiles at the moment of Alec introducing him to it. 

_ “Before I play it, I would just like to state that my sister put this on here, it’s her fault entirely.” _

_ Magnus can’t help but to break into laughter at the serious look on Alec’s face, “okay, I believe you. Just play it and I’ll tell you what I think.” _

_ After a seconds hesitation Alec presses play, Magnus was hooked from the start, the first verse spoke to him in a way not many songs could. They listen to the track in silence, concentrating on the music; Alec chewing his lip in apprehension as song ends.  _

_ “I think...How do I put this...” Magnus purposely draws out his response to wind Alec up. “That your sister…. she knows how to pick a good song.” He grins as Alec protests to the unnecessary teasing. _

Magnus shakes his head to clear the memory, and get rid of the sound of Alec calling his name. He selects the next track and almost jumps out of his skin when someone places a hand on his shoulder. “Magnus,” Alec is out of breath and half leaning on him. Not completely convinced he wasn’t seeing things Magnus takes out his headphones and blinks. Having caught his breath Alec resumes talking, “I’m so sorry that I haven’t been at our spot in a while.” Magnus tries to ignore how his heart skips a bit at Alec referring to it as ‘ _ our spot’.  _

“There’s no need to be sorry Alexander.” Alec rolls his eyes at the use of his full name, since Magnus found out what it was he had not stopped taunting him by using it. What Magnus failed to realise was that Alec had grown accustomed to how it sounded when Magnus said it, and if anything he now preferred him to use it. 

Magnus notices Alec brace himself and furrows his brow wondering what could be troubling him. “Look, feel free to say no, no pressure but….” Alec’s tongue flicks across his bottom lip, almost causing Magnus to become totally distracted. “How do you feel about going for a drink sometime?”

“I would love that,” they share a genuine smile.

“Great, that’s great,” Alec chuckles nervously before looking over his shoulder. “I’m sorry but I’ve got to run,” he pulls out his phone and offers it to Magnus. “Can I have your number?”

Magnus hands the phone back after putting his number in; he is left blinking in disbelief at the sight of Alec jogging away from him. Smiling to himself he heads home, his smile grows as he receives a text from Alec. He had a strong feeling that this could be the start of something special. 


End file.
